Marvelous Girl Has Moved!

Cheat proof your marriage

Posted on: September 9, 2009

cheat proof your marriage 2Your one-and-only isn’t behaving his one-and-only self lately. He’s distracted, spends more time at work, on the Internet, everywhere but with you. “The thought hits you–he must be having an affair!” says Dr. Noelle Nelson, relationship expert and author of Your Man is Wonderful.

“You’ve tried your best to stay in shape, but with kids, work, and day-today living there’s nothing you can do about the years going by even after gobbing on Oil of Olay or L’Oreal,” says Nelson. “Plus, how can you compete with all those ready, willing and available fresh-faced, pert-breasted, short skirted girls out there?”

The truth is, says Nelson, is you can’t compete. “It isn’t your skin tone, sexy lingerie or trim waistline that cheat-proofs your marriage, it’s the friendship you have with your spouse.”

Studies show that fully 70 percent of men’s satisfaction in the marriage comes from the quality of the couple’s friendship – not from the sex, romance or passion in the marriage. “Of course, sex, romance and passion are important, but the foundation of it all is the friendship – and that’s what we tend to overlook when we fear our men have strayed,” says Nelson.

“Why do you think so often a guy gets involved with someone at his work?” asks Nelson. “It’s not as if there aren’t lots of cuties who cross his path every day outside of work. The cutie at work openly expresses her appreciation for who your guy is and does, and–importantly–she’s someone he can talk about his work who doesn’t cut him off with ‘That’s nice dear, could you fix the toilet please’ just as he really gets going.”

What’s the fix? “Friendship with your spouse is different from that of your girlfriends or mother–where you pour out your emotional guts at every turn,” says Nelson. Instead, she suggests the following.

Look at your man with fresh eyes. Notice how lovable, generous, handsome, sexy or helpful he is, and tell him about it. Thank him for anything and everything he does that pleases you.

Be interested in and supportive of what is important to him. Listen to him talk about his work; remember names, situations or events that are relevant to him. Don’t discount his hobbies or friends – they matter to him, they should matter to you.

“The truth is, nothing can guarantee a cheat-proof marriage,” says Nelson, “but keeping the friendship aspect of your relationship front and center can go a long way towards ensuring a happily-ever-after relationship.”

For more marriage tips, go to Nelson’s blog, or follow her on Twitter,


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